Regrets!

Regrets, we all have them. Sometimes they are things that you should have done or didn’t get done. Sometimes they are things that we said or did. We all have regrets, even those who say they have no regrets, they have them.

What are some of yours. As we get older they pile up, like a pile of newspapers that we don’t want to toss out. We let them hang around hoping that one day we might actually do them and yet we never do. No matter how many times you try to ignore them, they always seem to mock you and make fun of you. There are those regrets that you never will deal with for they are too painful. They hurt every time you think about them or they don’t do anything at all cause you have closed them off but they are still there mocking you.

Some don’t have any regrets at all. They did what they did and have no qualms about them. These are the regrets that sit idly by and wait to pounce and worm their way into the brain and eat away slowly without you even realizing till it is usually too late.

I have a ton of regrets. They are stacked around just like the aforementioned newspapers. They haunt me like a ghost that is lost in the ether and can’t find it’s way out. Here is a list of mine. Some are self-afflicted and some are ones that I can’t change no matter what I try to to do.

I regret a lot of things. Some I keep to myself and others people know about. I have regrets that eat at me and others just sort of sit there more as a reminder of what I could have been. Regrets of things started but never finished.

My biggest regret is not going through the adoption process when my first wife Rose was diagnosed with leukemia. It bugs me to this day. I could have been the dad that I always wanted to be but I chose to end it. I just didn’t think that it was fair to bring a child into a situation where she had lost one mom just to loose another!

I have always wanted to be a dad and bring a child up with the same values I have. (Oh lord, that poor child). But I didn’t do that. I chose to think of Rose and the child instead of myself.

I regret not being there when my Mom died. I unfortunately could not afford to come back. I miss her and know that I will see her when I get to heaven.

I regret not being around when my other Mom died. Karen was the only one that got away with telling me off. I loved her so much and miss her just as much.

I regret not pursuing my dream of singing or acting. I just never got around to doing it. I guess God had other plans for me.

I regret not getting my novel published. Always thinking it is not good enough! I have written three of them and I just don’t think they are good enough. They sit on a data card and wait while I get up the guts to send them to whomever will read them.

One of the few things I don’t regret is marrying Rose or Jeanne. They have and are my soulmates. Most only get one. I got lucky, I got two. Some said that my marriage to Rose would never last. We had 14 wonderful years. They all said that moving to Oregon was a big mistake. 19 years later, we are still together.

The one thing I do not regret at all is falling in love with my First Love! For those who don’t know who that is, that would be Jesus Christ! He is my First Love because He first loved me.

Let me make one thing clear, regrets are not failures. Regrets are just that regrets.

We all have regrets but it depends on what you do with them. Some you can’t stop because it is too late and normally because the reason is no longer in or part of your life anymore. Some you can deal with if you can reach or deal with the problem at hand. Some you have to lay at the Lord’s feet and let Him deal with them.

 

“Keep Looking Up! For His Coming Is Nigh!”

 

 

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