Baptism, Does It Save You!

Sorry to tell you but no! The act of baptism does not save you in the least. To be baptized first you have to take Jesus as your own. The act of taking Jesus saves you, the baptism, seals the deal.

After taking Christ, you are baptized so that you may receive the Holy Spirit. Yup believe it or not the Holy Spirit does not indwell till you are baptized. Some put it off and some never get it but the Bible is very clear. Baptism should be done right after taking the Lord.

Now some will tell you that baby baptism is okay, but there is no Biblical scripture to back it up. No where in the Bible does it say that. Beside, to be baptized is a personal thing and the last time I checked, a baby didn’t say yes or no. The baby has no idea what is going on. To it, it is getting wet, that is about all the baby knows. But we are not talking child baptism which is a whole other question altogether.

Is the act of the baptism enough to save your soul. Well if it was the only thing needed at the time sure but it doesn’t work like that. The simple act of being dunked under water is not enough. 1st Peter reads thus.

1 Peter 3:21

21 Corresponding to that, baptism now saves you—not the removal of dirt from the flesh, but an appeal to God [b]for a good conscience—through the resurrection of Jesus Christ,

So what does this mean. Simply put, the baptism is of no use unless you are saved by The Blood Of The Lamb! Jesus died then he rose again. Through his resurrection, you are saved by the baptism. The two go hand in hand.

Let me give you an example.

Acts 8:26-40

26 But an angel of the Lord spoke to Philip saying, “Get up and go south to the road that descends from Jerusalem to Gaza.” ([a]This is a desert road.) 27 So he got up and went; and there was an Ethiopian eunuch, a court official of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians, who was in charge of all her treasure; and he had come to Jerusalem to worship, 28 and he was returning and sitting in his [b]chariot, and was reading the prophet Isaiah. 29 Then the Spirit said to Philip, “Go up and join this [c]chariot.”30 Philip ran up and heard him reading Isaiah the prophet, and said, “Do you understand what you are reading?” 31 And he said, “Well, how could I, unless someone guides me?” And he invited Philip to come up and sit with him. 32 Now the passage of Scripture which he was reading was this:

He was led as a sheep to slaughter;
And as a lamb before its shearer is silent,
So He does not open His mouth.
33 In humiliation His judgment was taken away;
Who will [d]relate His [e]generation?
For His life is removed from the earth.”

34 The eunuch answered Philip and said, “Please tell me, of whom does the prophet say this? Of himself or of someone else?” 35 Then Philip opened his mouth, and beginning from this Scripture he preached Jesus to him. 36 As they went along the road they came to some water; and the eunuch *said, “Look! Water! What prevents me from being baptized?” 37 [[f]And Philip said, “If you believe with all your heart, you may.” And he answered and said, “I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.”] 38 And he ordered the [g]chariot to stop; and they both went down into the water, Philip as well as the eunuch, and he baptized him.39 When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord snatched Philip away; and the eunuch no longer saw him, [h]but went on his way rejoicing. 40 But Philip [i]found himself at [j]Azotus, and as he passed through he kept preaching the gospel to all the cities until he came to Caesarea.

Notice in 36 it reads that the eunuch listens then sees the water. He jumps out of the  chariot and wants to be baptized but Philip responded with . “If you believe with all your heart, you may.” And he answered and said, “I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God.”

With that the eunuch is baptized but not before taking Jesus as his own.

Even Jesus was baptized but that was a different kind of baptism. As Jesus was sinless, it was not a baptism to cleanse. His was a baptism of announcement. The minute Jesus came up out of the water, God himself spoke.

Matthew 3:13-17

13 Then Jesus *arrived from Galilee at the Jordan coming to John, to be baptized by him. 14 But John tried to prevent Him, saying, “I have need to be baptized by You, and do You come to me?” 15 But Jesus answering said to him, “Permit it at this time; for in this way it is fitting for us to fulfill all righteousness.” Then he *permitted Him. 16 After being baptized, Jesus came up immediately from the water; and behold, the heavens were opened, and [a]he saw the Spirit of God descending as a dove and[b]lighting on Him, 17 and behold, a voice out of the heavens said, “This is[c]My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased.”

John 1:29-34

29 The next day he *saw Jesus coming to him and *said, “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! 30 This is He on behalf of whom I said, ‘After me comes a Man who [a]has a higher rank than I,for He existed before me.’ 31 I did not recognize [b]Him, but so that He might be manifested to Israel, I came baptizing [c]in water.” 32 John testified saying, “I have seen the Spirit descending as a dove out of heaven, and He remained upon Him. 33 I did not recognize [d]Him, but He who sent me to baptize [e]in water said to me, ‘He upon whom you see the Spirit descending and remaining upon Him, this is the One who baptizes [f]in the Holy Spirit.’ 34 I myself have seen, and have testified that this is the Son of God.”

Mark 1:9-11

In those days Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. 10 Immediately coming up out of the water, He saw the heavens [a]opening, and the Spirit like a dove descending upon Him;11 and a voice came out of the heavens: “You are My beloved Son, in You I am well-pleased.”

Luke 3:21-23

21 Now when all the people were baptized, Jesus was also baptized, and while He was praying, heaven was opened, 22 and the Holy Spirit descended upon Him in bodily form like a dove, and a voice came out of heaven, “You are My beloved Son, in You I am well-pleased.”

I asked my best friend and brother John Howard about Jesus’ baptism. It was not a baptism to cleanse sin and he responded with.

 “You’re right – it wasn’t for cleansing from sin. And because Jesus never sinned, he didn’t need John’s baptism (which was to show that people repented of their sins (Mt 3:11). When John didn’t want to baptize Jesus, Jesus said to do it “to fulfil all righteousness” or “to carry out all that God requires”. We see in Mk 16:16 that baptism is a sign of belief, and according to John 3:16-18, only believing in Jesus is necessary for salvation. Once we believe ( and are baptized as a sign of our belief) we learn to follow Him and be His disciple, as our Saviour and Lord.”

Jesus is perfect. He can be nothing else for He is the Son of God. God made flesh so that we might, by way of salvation through the lamb, enter into heaven. The sacrifice made, for us, on our behalf, even though we did not deserve the sacrifice made.  We are washed in His blood.

So does baptism, in itself actually save you. No. You can be drowned, dunked, sprinkled and sprayed and guess what. It is not going to save you. Just like sitting your fanny in a church pew every Sunday is not going to save you. You can do it til the day you die and you will still not get to dwell with the Father.

Salvation is a two fold (simple) thing.

1 You come to know the Jesus I know. The holy Son of God. The one who died for you. Taking him as your own. Accepting Him as you Lord and Saviour.  Letting Him into your heart. Letting Him guide you in your walk. Oh and you have to mean it.

2 Being baptized. Take Jesus, be dunked in His name.

Very simple. Sure there are ministers out there that are going to say that it is a little more complicated than that. Well in fact it’s not. Look back at the Eunuch. Accept baptized. Simple!

My Mom!

Doreen Gertrude Keast (Nee Ley, Nee Crawford) Born July 11th 1926 Died January 9th 2004.

“Gone But Not Forgotten!”

This is my Mother. She went to be with the Lord 13 years ago. She was just not my mother. She was the mother of 6 other children. Robert Jr, Deanna Rose, Leyton, Steven, Grant, Nancy. She was not just my mom, she was their Mom too. I didn’t want to forget them when I posted this.

Was she a great Mom, nope she made her mistakes like every other mom in this world but she was still our mother. There is not a day goes by that I don’t think about her or miss her. We had our battles but no matter what I loved her as much as she loved me and her other children! She often was disappointed in us but she never stopped loving us.

She was the oldest of twelve. She would tell us stories about her growing up and some of the tricks her dad would do to get more food. One I remember most is when they were sitting down to a spaghetti dinner. Granddad would would slurp them into his mouth and comment…”mmmm these worms are good.” my mother would come out with “sure are…mmm very good”. She knew what he was doing and wasn’t falling for it.

My mom was a loving mom and yet she was stern as well.She was just as quick with the hand to discipline as she was to caress a face. My favourite memories of her was when I would sit at her feet and she would comb her fingers through my hair. It made me all squishy inside!

I could go on and on and say all kinds of things about my mom. But I like to remember her as she was. My Mommy! One day I will see her again!

I think I can say this for the rest of her children. We love you Mommy!


President Elect

Okay so the orange scourge is now the President elect. Not happy about it, but that is the way it is. Do I think he will be a good President, not a clue. Guess we will have to wait to find out.

I also understand the protesting. Sure you’re not happy about it, I get that, and I understand that you want to get your frustrations out, but why do you have to destroy things when you protest. It doesn’t make any sense. You’re pissed that your candidate didn’t get elected, i get that, but why the destruction.

What’s done is done. You can’t change it. You want to try to change things, then work with your representatives and your senators and congressmen or women, and make the changes that you think need to be changed. You can’t change who the President Elect is but you can change the way he runs the country!

Not Sure Yet

Sometimes I never know what I am going to write when I start one of these things. I go back and forth trying to decide what to type. I hum and haw and write then erase and then rewrite and of course erase again. Sometimes the Lord moves me and I write what He wants me to say. But eventually I end up with a readable blog with, I hope no spleling mistakes or words left out. ( yes the spelling mistake was for effect!)

My topics are varied. If you have read my blogs then you know that. If not well then I guess you will find out eventually. I would love to do a video blog but alas my camera SUCKS!!!! But then again you never know I might try it anyways!

I titled this blog Not Sure Yet cause well I am not sure what I am writing about. I may just for fun, ramble away and get everyone confizzled! I am a writer and a singer. I play guitar and ummm the air drums quite well. I am just a guy that likes to do a little bit of everything. Like everyone else I like to tell tall tales and sometimes they are dashed with a little truth.

I am a Christian. I follow the teaching of Jesus Christ. I believe that He is the Son of the Most High God Jehovah. I am his Defiant Child who wants to do things his way but always is aware that God will be there when I stumble and remind me that I can’t always do things on my own. I blog mostly about Jesus cause well I think that this is what He wants. Am I right on what I write. I don’t know. I do know that I have scriptural basis to back up what I say.

I could write about the teachings of Buddha or Allah or Vishnu but I don’t follow their teachings. I follow Jesus’s teachings. I do not want to insult anyone by talking about things I do not know anything about. That would be as useful as having a udder on a bull. Would also look really strange.

I listen to Rock music mostly but I also delve into Classical, Country, Blues, Jazz, Soul, Disco and dare I say… Big Band! My true love in Music is Christan. Whether it be Rock or Worship or everything in between. Petra to Guardian, Phil Keaggy to Casting Crowns. My musical taste is diverse. Skillet to Thousand Foot Krutch, Red to Bride. Music is music and it was once said.. “It’s Not The Music…It’s The Message!” or “There ain’t now such thing as a bad note….just bad intentions!”

Music is the universal language that every one understands no matter what country the Musician is from. It doesn’t really matter the lyrics, it’s the music that moves you. Even more if it is filled with the Spirit. I love all kinds of music.

I said earlier that I was a writer. Never had anything published but that’s okay. I write for the joy of it besides it helps me spell better. Even when I blog, I have to watch my spelling. I have written stories about Jesus (imagine that) to a good old fashioned mystery that I have been writing and re-writing over the last 10 years or so. I use to write songs but stopped a few years ago. Once I get my guitar fixed, maybe I will.

I DJ in Second Life. One set at Ohana Rock Club and one set at Danze Fever. I use to DJ a lot in SL but I don’t anymore. Second Life has become too commercial and it basically sucked the life out of it. With the new viewer coming, from what I have gleaned, if you are on the old viewer, you are going to loose everything and have a do over. Which is all fine and good but when you have spent tens of thousands of lindens on clothes and other stuff, to loose it all really sucks!

When I DJ I play a virtual myriad of genres. Basically the same stuff that I listen to. I have not a great following in SL but then again I have never been about a great following but rather sharing the music I enjoy to everyone else and if they don’t like it, there are hundreds of clubs that they can go to.

I spend my free time in real life dealing with the day to day struggles. Looking after a quadriplegic wife can get tiring. Now I am not complaining..well I am but I allowed, I am also obnoxious at times but I digress. I love my wife with a fierce love, even though she does annoy me at times but in truth, I wouldn’t want it any other way!

I have one sister and four brothers and I love them very much! We are far apart but I feel them in my heart. My mom is dead, so is my dad. My stepfather Howard is still with us. I have one other sister but she died fifteen or sixteen years before I was born. There is a hole in my heart and I think it is there for her to fill.

I think I am done for now. You never know, I might come back with Not Sure Yet Part 2 later. I hope you enjoyed the read and that you learned a little about me!

The Fun In Dysfunctional!

What do I do when I want to rewind? I go into Second Life and DJ! I love doing it and it helps me relax and forget about the troubles of this world. I get lost in the music and everything stops! I also write and play my guitar and even from time to time I going into DC Online and beat the crap out of villains.

I enjoy all kinds of things to do. Spending time with my wife watching our favourite shows. L&O:SVU, The Flash, The Arrow so on and so forth. We watch a diverse variety of television. She is into her Hallmark : Murder and Mystery movies. She enjoys fixer upper shows and vet shows.

I spend my days at my computer for the most part. I write my blog or get out my poison pen on twitter and keep track of my family (real life or virtual) on Facebook or I get a story out that I am trying to write and write a chapter or two before I get distracted. About every twenty minutes, almost like clock work, I check on my wife Jeanne to make sure she is okay. For those who have never looked after a quadriplegic, it is not as easy as it sounds and for those who think that they know…trust me you don’t have a single clue until you have!

The constant watching for bed sores and making sure that there are no wrinkles under her so the aforementioned bed sores don’t appear. Making sure that she is hydrated and has had enough to eat. Being ready to help her with spasms and gas. It’s easy for us to pass gas but for a quad it’s different. We lift a leg and it is silent but deadly. For a quad, if they are in bed they have to be rolled and then aided in so different ways. If they are sitting up, it can happen at anytime and trust me it does.

It is tough for the quad and it is just as tough on the spouse. It almost feels like servitude. You are so concerned about them that you get lost in the shuffle. You have to deal with the pains and aches by yourself. You have to deal with getting sick and still have to do your job. It is a rough job and I already can hear the laughter. “It can’t be that hard!” Okay so let’s do this.

Imagine that you are in so much pain, you can barely walk. It’s 2 in the morning and you are warm comfy and dead asleep. You hear your wife call you. You get up just to find out that you have to clean her up. Now as I said, you can barely walk. So now you have to go and get everything you need to clean her up and you stub your toe or trip over the cat. So now you are grumbling and complaining. You wander back into the bedroom, get her all cleaned up and now you hurt even worse. But you see her face and you can’t help but kiss her and tell her that you love her…no matter how frustrated you are. You climb back into bed and you are just about to go back to sleep heaven and you have to get up because she needs to be cleaned again. So you grumble under your breath and curse silently. Clean her up and look into those eyes and realize that you would do it again and again. Meanwhile your back is so sore that it cries out in pain as you lean down to kiss her lips.

As hard as it is, it’s not about respect or loyalty or willingness, well it is but it is about something more. It’s about love. You do it cause you love her and you know that if the roles were reversed, she would do it for you.

You always put her or him first. In my case it’s her. She gets her dinner first. She is first in my life. Her needs come before mine. We go to a restaurant and when the food gets there, I cut up her food so she can eat. It doesn’t matter that mine is going cold. She gets served first. When we get home, she gets put back into bed first cause she can’t sit in her chair any longer. It doesn’t matter that I need to pee, she has to go back to bed. Then she needs her pills and she needs her this and that. Meanwhile your back teeth are floating. So you put her on hold, mainly cause well if not, the floor is going to get very wet.

Love is the motivating factor. I married her for love, I live with her for love. I look after her for love. I deal with all the headaches and pain for love. Birthdays and Christmases are missed cause she can’t get out of bed to go do it and sure I am upset about it and it bothers me but then that love comes in and whispers. She loves and needs me. When I am so sick that tossing my cookies is a very possible thing, I still get up and look after her. Get her her meds and her breakfast, lunch and dinner. I have been so sick that death would be preferable but I still got out of bed to clean her up and for no other reason that I love her.

I think about the times that she is so sick that I wonder when the Lord will call her home. There are times that I have cried myself to sleep while she has been in the hospital with this infection or that infection that I am so scared that I am going to bury another wife. I buried one, I really don’t want to bury another one yet. But that thought is always in the back of my mind. I am so glad when she can come home and even though we sleep in separate beds, the sounds of her snoring is like fine music.

I have been married to Jeanne for 17 years and as hard as it has been, I wouldn’t trade a single day of it. She has seen me so sick that I can barely move yet I have still cared for her. She wishes she could look after me like I do her.

This little blog of mine started out as what we do and it turned into a what I do. It is a labour of love. I don’t do it for the glory or the fame or even the recognition. I do it cause there is this woman, that through no fault of her own, was in a car crash in the Coburg Hills in Western Oregon in 1976. The jeep rolled corner to corner and she was the one that was left in the condition she is in. Some have said that she is weak and yet this same woman raised two children, got her MA and BA and through it all managed to stay sane and she did it all while in a chair.  I don’t know if I could have done what she has done. I think I might have decided to try to check out.

She gave me my life back when my life was so messed up that I didn’t know what to do anymore. She thinks I am perfect and trust me I am far from that. She loves me for me and all of my imperfections. I would not trade that for anything.

In my life time I have had four angels in my life. My Grand Mother who loved me Unconditionally. My Mother for all her faults and mistakes, cried when I was born and loved me the minute she laid her eyes on me even though she really didn’t want anymore kids. My sweet love Rose who loved me with such a fierce love and made me promise that if anything happened to her, that I would find another love. Finally Jeanne who took me in and loves me with a love that is as fierce as any love I have ever had.

Of all the loves that I have had in my life, none are more important that these four. Sorry Miss Kinney. There is a fifth and she is so important to me and my life. We may not always agree on things and sometimes we say things to each other that are mean and spiteful. Yet she knows that I would lay my life down for her in a heartbeat and yes I know she would do the same for me. My sister Nancy. She has been a thorn in my side since the day I was born and truth be told (I will deny if she reads this…) I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I have four beautiful brothers that have taught me so much. Some good some bad and yet I would be lost without them. We don’t often see each other much anymore..they are anywhere from 3000 to 10000 miles away but they are always in my heart.

What started out as one kind of blog has turned into another one. I guess the Lord had plans for this blog all along. Family is so important in a man’s or a woman’s life. They really are the glue that keeps us stuck. We may not always like to hear what they might have to say. We may fight from time to time (well a lot) but we love each other.

I have a wonderful family. We put the fun in dysfunctional. I have had ups and downs, good and bad. But through it all I have been able to stand my ground cause not only do I have the Lord by my side I have my family, we will not be swayed at all!

I guess I am done. My keyboard is sending me divorce notices.

“Keep Looking Up! His Coming Is Soon!!”

What Child Is This!

What Child Is This that we celebrate every year in December? What is so special about this Child that was born at this time of year? Why is this Child so important to the season?

Christmas, a day that we open presents and spend time with family. A time to remember times gone by and a time to sit in quiet contemplation. A time to watch the falling snow or the look at the sunshine. But it is more than that.

Genesis 3:15

And I will put enmity
Between you and the woman,
And between your seed and her seed;
He shall bruise you on the head,
And you shall bruise him on the heel.”

The first prophesy about The Messiah. The first time that Jesus is mentioned in the Bible. The devil had done his worst and now it was time to pay the piper and they did! The devil was forced to slither across the earth and man was made to toil for his sustenance. Woman was to go through the pain of childbirth and labour for her food. Adam and Eve had it so easy and yet they just couldn’t seem to do what was needed to do to stay in the Garden.

We skip through a few hundred years and come to Isaiah. The Prophesy that the Wise men talk about. In it is the mention of the Messiah. It is not about anyone else. It is very direct.

Isaiah 9:6-7

For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us;
And the government will rest on His shoulders;
And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.
There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace,
On the throne of David and over his kingdom,
To establish it and to uphold it with justice and righteousness
From then on and forevermore.
The zeal of the Lord of hosts will accomplish this.

Jesus is the subject of these two verses. It can be about no one else. For no other person in the Bible is called any of those names. The prophecies continue about the baby boy born in a manger.

Isaiah 7:14

14 Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, a virgin will be with child and bear a son, and she will call His name Immanuel.

Isaiah seems to me the Old Testament prophet that has the most prophecies about Jesus. This one is said to the King of Judah, Ahaz. It can be of no one else but the baby boy that was born in the manger. For no other child is born in this nature.

Immanuel means “God IS With us!”

Isaiah 11:1-2

1 Then a shoot will spring from the stem of Jesse, and a branch from his roots will bear fruit.
The Spirit of the Lord will rest on Him,
The spirit of wisdom and understanding,
The spirit of counsel and strength,
The spirit of knowledge and the fear of the Lord.

Jesus is a direct descendant of Jesse. Not two or three times removed but direct. Jesus’ genealogy is traced not once but twice in the Bible. Once in Matthew and once in Luke. Both we will get to later.

Jeremiah 23:5

Behold, the days are coming, declares the LORD, when I will raise up for David a righteous Branch, and he shall reign as king and deal wisely, and shall execute justice and righteousness in the land.

Jesus  is a direct descendant of David. One of, it not, the greatest kings in Israel’s history. Was he the messiah that the prophets spoke of. No. He was not perfect. He was adulterer, he murdered a man just so that he could have his wife. He murdered King Saul. He did so many things wrong and yet when he begged forgiveness, God gave it to him and used in a mighty way. David brought the Israelites back to the Lord.

David was born in Bethlehem and yet he was not the Messiah that was promised. The Messiah that was promised would be be perfect in every way. David was far from perfect.

Micah 5:2 

But you, O Bethlehem Ephrathah, who are too little to be among the clans of Judah, from you shall come forth for me one who is to be ruler in Israel,    whose coming forth is from of old, from ancient days.

Let’s look at this verse a moment. Micah was a contemporary of the prophets Isaiah, Amos, and Hosea. Jeremiah came 30 years after Micah, recognized Micah as a prophet from Moresheth who prophesied during the reign of Hezekiah.

I have always been confused by the two names of one city and so I took the time to look them up.

Bethlehem is the modern name for the city. Ephrathah is the ancient name of the same city.

Jesus’ birth was foretold over and over again. There was no if ands or buts about it. Jesus fulfilled those prophecies when he was born. Now there are some that will argue that Jesus was not the one. Some will say that David was born in Bethlehem as well but their reason as blown out of the water because the prophecies were told after the death of David. How could these prophecies be of a dead man!

Some others will argue that there were other children born with the name Of Jesus and yup I agree but the name Jesus is the Greek form of the Hebrew name, Joshua. So that settles that problem.

Jesus (in traditional last names) would have been Godson (son of God).  Just like John Son of Thief would be John Thiefson. Because Joseph took Jesus as his own, Jesus full name would have been Jesus Son Of Joseph, but no matter what His last name is, He is still the Son of the most high God!

Out of Bethlehem will the Messiah come. No where else and it is fitting that the one that God chose to raise the would be of Bethlehem. Joseph, son of Jacob. He was from the house of David. God chose royal blood to raise the King of Kings. Mary’s lineage is unknown or is it.

Matthew 1:1-16 is the lineage of Jesus through Joseph. Now yes Joseph adopted Jesus as his own therefore he would be in His “fathers” line. It starts with Abraham and ends with “Jacob was the father of Joseph the husband of Mary, by whom Jesus was born, who is called [p]the Messiah.” The lineage goes forward.

Luke 3:23-38 is the Lineage of Jesus through Mary. It starts with Jesus and goes back to Adam.   When you read it notice something interesting. Both Mary and Joseph are related to none other than David, King of Israel! Who to have better than a mother from a line of kings. His adoptive father from from the same line of kings. God had everything planned down to the very last detail. He knew who, when, where, why, what and how the Saviour of the world was to be born!

Jesus Christ, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Fairest of Ten Thousands. The Ruler of the universe was born and placed in a manger. The feeding trough of animals. It was not a crib or a cradle. Some believe that it was a stable while others think it was a cave. That discussion will continue on for years to come. Whether it was a stable a cave makes no matter either way. The fact of the matter is is that the Lord of Hosts was born in a simple place. He was born simple and He was buried simple!

When Christmas comes around again and you sing the Carols and put out the tree. When you decorate it and wonder at the sight. Remember the child that this day was named after. For those that laugh at us Christians that celebrate this day and we worship the child that was born, remember, the day spells His name. That same child grew up to be a man and that same man spread His arms and died for you. His name is Jesus Christ!

“Keep Looking Up, His Coming Is Soon!”

The Love Of My Life!


On Feb 25, 1955, the love of my life was born. She was given the name Rosemarie Dawn Archer. She lived 40 years. She was in her 41st year when she died. That was the day that my heart got a hole so big in it that you could drive a tractor trailer through it and even after 20 years (this year on November 11) that hole is still there. Nothing and no one can fill it. They say that no matter what you think, you only get one true soul mate. Rose was mine.

We met at a bible study in 1979. She was shy and quiet. She was sweet and cute and she made my heart skip a beat. We went to see the movie Jesus and sat beside each other. I took her hand in mine and we sat like that the rest of the movie. We started dating and I fell in love. We went to the same church and we were almost inseparable.

We moved in together in 1980. We were happy and truth be told, she was my first. We lived in this basement apartment that I constantly hit my head on the pipes. One day when she was sick I proposed. I was on my knees peeling potatoes and she was on her third cup of hot chocolate. She came out of the living room and asked for more. I took the cup and asked her if she would marry me. She giggled and said yes and went back to the living room. A few minutes later she came back and asked me if I had proposed and I said yes and that she had said yes and she skipped back to the living room and got on the phone to tell her sisters.

August 29th, 1981 at 12 Noon the wedding took place at Knox Flox Presbyterian Church in Crossland Ontario. It was so black that we were sure that it was going to storm and make it miserable but the rain stayed away till after the wedding and a few pictures were taken before the reception. It is a day I will never forget. Some of the names are foggy but the sight of seeing her walk down the aisle brought me to tears. I was about to marry the love of my life.

We had our honeymoon at the Barrie Continental Inn and it was a wonderful time. I even carried her across the threshold.  We started on a journey that would take us from living in Toronto, to moving back to Barrie. From cheating on each other to fixing it and realizing that we couldn’t live without each other. We went through a battle to keep our apartment and won. We went through a number of landlords and finally got one we liked.

In 92 my dad died and I got the call from Rose and I cried, not for long but I did cry. He was my father and even though I was not his biggest fan, I had enough respect for him to cry. A week later I was at my church’s office and I was trying to fix their computer when I got another call from Rose that they had found something wrong with her blood.

That started a 3 and half year battle with Leukemia. Inside I wanted to scream but on the outside I had to show strength cause I knew that Rose would need me to lean on. She was strong but knew that she had me to hold onto and I was her sounding board, her slapping post. More than once she hit me not cause she was mad at me but because she needed to release some tension and some anger. I was there for that, not because I was a wimp but because that is what a husband is suppose to do.

I held her hand while she went through chemo. I was there when she had to spend time at Princess Margaret Hospital in Toronto for a few weeks. I would go down and stay at their family building, free of charge, and be able to see her. She was despondent one day that she wanted to die. I was very honest with her. I told her that if she wanted to die then she best get on with it and get it over with but that while she did that she should think about her family and me. How that would make us feel and that I would be alone. A week or so later, she was out of isolation and in a normal room. No more gowns and gloves.

She was to going home soon  and I couldn’t wait for her to come home. I was so tired of sleeping alone and not hearing her snore beside me. Yes it’s true, if you just hold on, the snoring becomes normal background noise that is so important to your life. We spent the night in the guest services building and had one of the rooms to ourselves. We made love for the first time in weeks and it was wonderful. We cried and laughed and enjoyed each other. 

The next morning she noticed  little white spots on her body. What we thought was Host vs Graft disease, turned out to be chicken pox. That was on a Tuesday. On Saturday November 11 1995 at 11:20ish PM I got the call from the hospital. The love of my life was gone. All that strength I had had crumbled and I was standing in the kitchen stark naked and I screamed. I cried out and I was crushed.

I was surrounded by family and friends. We had the viewing, closed casket, and we talked about her. All the time all I wanted to do was crawl in the casket with her. To be cremated with her so we could spend the rest of eternity together. As far as I was concerned, my life was over. I had no reason to live anymore.

Rose was my world. I have to admit that I loved her more than I loved Jesus. I woke up to her every morning and went to bed with her every night. We made plans and even went through adoption proceedings only to have them dashed when she was diagnosed. It killed me to tell her that we had to stop them. Maybe we should have kept going. Maybe I would have had the child I had always wanted.

That was then this is now. For twenty years I have, in one way or another, mourned the loss of my love. The woman that I gave my heart to and my virginity. She held me and smacked me. Loved me and hated me. Made love with me and we enjoyed each other. Through it all, if I had to do it all again I would in a heartbeat. I would go through it all again if it meant I could have Rose back.

She was my 4 foot ten and half inch dynamo that loved her friends and family. She loved her husband more and even through all the trouble, she was happy. One day I know that she will be in my arms once more and that we will be together for the rest of time.


Sadness Is Not Choosey!

You never im me they say. You don’t like me they say. Guess what…not true. Just like a phone, it goes both ways. Click a button and say hi. I don’t bite (well I do but only If I ask first). See it goes like this. You have a mouse that you can click my name and say hi. It always seems so one-sided.

Connection is great and it does go both ways. It seems that I am always the one to start the conversation. Then people think that I am ignoring them. I’m not. I sit at times and wait for someone to say something then I end up starting the conversation. Which in itself is not a bad thing, but it would be nice if it happened the other way once in a while.

I don’t vent or rant very often. I keep a lot of things close to the vest. I don’t show my unhappiness very often. I plaster on a smile and make like everything is okay. Ask anyone that really knows me and they will tell you that. I play the happy guy but most of the time I am hurting inside. I fake it just to make sure that friends don’t have to see how broken I am inside.

People say, you are a Christian, how can you be unhappy or broken. Aren’t you saved…..Yup I am and yes I am saved but I am also very human. I have my problems with life just like everyone else. I go through things just like everyone else. I get depressed and I get sick just like everyone else.

I said once that I have no friends and I don’t have very many…in Oregon. All my friends or the majority of them live in Ontario Canada. My adopted dad is one of the most wonderful men I have ever met. I love him more than he will ever know. (and he knows who he is.) I watched two wonderful little girls, that i considered my little sisters grow up into beautiful wonderful women. One is even a TV star.

Thirty four years ago I married the love of my life. Fourteen years later she was taken from me. I have carried that pain for 20 years. There is a hole in my heart that was where her love resided. It held me and caressed me and told me everything was going to be alright. It’s not there anymore and nothing can fill that spot. I love my current wife but even she can not fill that hole.

Friendships are hard to find these days. With everyone connected to the net and the phones surgically implanted on our hands. Making friends is not what it use to be. Now we have social media that has taken the place of going outside and actually talking to each other. We replaced friendships with computers. We hide behind our screens instead of face to face. Oh what I would give to see the friends I talk to. To see all the friends that I left behind in Ontario.

I am a sad man. I have my moments of happiness but not as many as I would like. My happiness is in heaven waiting for me to come to her. It is in Ontario where the people I love the most are. Where my family is. The ones that know me best. I am waiting for the day that I can see My Lord and turn in my sadness for happiness.

Folks, make sure you do more than just IM people. If they are close enough, talk to them face to face. If you can’t, IM them often. Don’t wait for them to come to you. I don’t do it often enough but I have been hurt so many times that I don’t bother anymore. Saying Hi can do so much!


Jesus is to blame…..NOT!

I found a story about a person who has since tossed away Jesus and blames what has happened in his life on everything and everyone else. He blames Jesus and his friends, everyone but himself! The quoted part was my response to his letter.

“As much as I appreciate your story, it saddens me that you blame everyone else but where the blame needs to go. That is with the Band. They are the ones that messed up. You left your First Love because you decided that it was God’s fault. Jesus wasn’t real. You hate Christians. They abandoned you and left you swinging in the breeze.

I stumbled on this blog looking up the band ******* and I thank you for the incite. If the story is true, and I am not saying it isn’t, ******** is a band I will not put into my collection.

You left Christ, not the other way around. He never left you. He loves you or He wouldn’t have died for you. He did that willingly. He didn’t have to. He could have left the world swinging in the breeze but He didn’t.

Being a Christian is not easy as many people would have you believe. I struggle everyday to be the perfect Christian. I struggle everyday to be the perfect example of Jesus Christ. But there in lies the problem. I try to be but unfortunately, I am not perfect. I am a flawed human being. I realized that a long time ago. I am an ambassador of Jesus Christ. I am not Christ.

Your friends left you swinging, get new friends. Don’t walk away from the one person that loves you more than you will ever know. You chose to walk away and that it was His fault. It wasn’t His fault. It was the bands fault and your Friends. BUT You chose to blame Jesus instead for something HE didn’t do!”

It is a sad state of affairs when we blame the one person that loves us more that any other person in the world. We scream out words like “GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING WRONG?” Well truth be told, He isn’t doing anything wrong. “It’s not Meith…it’s youith.”

Let me reiterate, Christians are not perfect. Never have been never will be. Perfection comes when we stand before the Lord and He welcomes us into His kingdom.

I came to Christ an imperfect person. Now I am imperfect Christian. I make mistakes and I screw up. I am the one the committed the sin. I don’t blame everyone else and if someone else is to blame for the screw up,I will make sure to let that person know. But the fact of the matter is, I made the mistake willingly too. I did so with full knowledge and foresight. If my friends don’t want to support me or take the time to support me, I find new friends that will.

Jesus is and always will be my friend and my first love. I blame Him for nothing. All the mistakes I have made are my fault. But it is easier to blame friends or God or anyone else then take the blame themselves.